


I'll Always Save You (Even When You Don't Need It)

by balr33



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:39:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9635075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/balr33/pseuds/balr33
Summary: kk so this is my new fic! it's a college au/some real world comparisons. I hope you like it!!





	1. One Opportunity to Seize Everything You Ever Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> kk so this is my new fic! it's a college au/some real world comparisons. I hope you like it!!

Christen Press sat in the University of Texas visiting locker room staring at the ground beneath her cleats. She had been staring at the same section of flooring for almost an hour and she couldn’t even tell you what the color of the carpet was. Her team had shuffled in after the game with sweat soaked jerseys and teary eyes. Her coach somberly confronted them and gave a speech no one wanted to hear and one Christen didn’t listen to at all. He probably congratulated on a great season--the best one in program history. He probably told them to be happy with what they accomplished regardless of the final dagger in their season. But Christen didn’t want to smile; she wanted to feel the pain. Around her, Christen’s teammates cried and let out frustrated sighs. She heard a loud thud as Kelley smashed her fist into the side of a wooden locker, but she still didn’t move. 

Slowly, her teammates began filtering out of the locker room to find comfort from their family and friends waiting outside. But Christen sat frozen. She didn’t think about the 21 goals she scored or the impressive highlight reel she created this season. She thought about every shot she missed. The ones that sailed wide, got deflected by defenders, or went right into the goalie’s gloves. She thought about her championship defeat saving goal that slammed into the edge of the post. Fitting, she thought as she let out a small, ironic laugh comparing the shot to her life. Finally, it hit her. The shock of the final whistle wore off and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She buried her head into her hands and cried until she had nothing left to give.

 

“Come on, Press,” Kelley begged. They were back in their hotel room that night after the commotion of the afternoon game finally settled down. 

“For the millionth time, no,” Press said tucked under her covers with her glasses on and a book on her lap. 

“Please, Press. It’ll be fun,” Kelley jumped onto Christen’s bed, clasping her hands under her chin and giving her the saddest puppy dog eyes she could manage.

“Kell, no,” Christen shook her head. “I’m tired and we have an early flight tomorrow and not to mention I don’t exactly feel in the mood to smile, let alone party.”

“Chris, come on. That’s all the more reason too! It’s going to be fun. Everyone’s going to be there. We can pack tomorrow or tonight when we come back drunk,” Kelley winked.

“How can you even think about drinking? We lost the national championship. You do remember that, right?” 

Kelley visibly winced at the reminder of the game and let out a long sigh.

“Yes,” Kelley said her tone lacking it’s previous excitement. “I remember it. I remember getting red carded and letting my entire team down, you especially. And that’s exactly why I want to go. I want to forget the game for a minute. As corny as coach was, I want to remember all of this for the great times. I want to celebrate with my team and my best friends one last time before it’s all over,” she said and Christen began to understand where she was coming from. “So please, Press. For me. Come out, have a few drinks, and let’s celebrate one more night of this season together.”

Christen shut her book and sighed. “Fine,” she said and Kelley’s face immediately beamed. “But I’m not smiling,” Christen said sternly pointing her finger at Kelley.

“I would never ask you to do something so horrible,” Kelley laughed as she pulled her best friend into a tight bear hug.

 

“Press, relax,” Kelley whispered to the girl by her side as they approached one of the school’s practice fields. Girls from all four of the teams at the college cup were gathered on the field with some University of Texas frat guys drinking and dancing in the barely lit field. “Why’d you come if you’re just going to overthink everything?” Kelley winked. 

“Because you,” Christen fumed knowing in the back of her head Kelley was kidding but was being overshadowed by the rage of her friend knowing exactly how to push her buttons.

“KELL BELL!” Someone yelled interrupting Christen’s anger spurt. Kelley turned to the sound of her name and a huge smile took over her face.

“Cheney!” Kelley beamed bounding her way over to her friend from the youth national team. Christen rolled her eyes, sighed, and followed behind Kelley as they approached a group of girls. Christen cautiously stayed a few steps behind as Kelley hugged and greeted the girls with something that made them all laugh. Christen didn’t know a lot of the girls in the group but she instantly recognized, and a little star struck by, Lauren Cheney and Tobin Heath who had both competed in the 2008 Olympics. 

“Tough loss today, Kell,” Lauren sympathetically put a hand on Kelley’s arm.

“No, don’t start with that,” Kelley said. “No soccer tonight. Just chugging beers,” she grinned earning her a few eye rolls and a few cheers from the group. 

“Well in that case, you better go catch up,” Lauren laughed as she raised her solo cup to her lips. 

“Okay, we’ll be right back,” Kelley said turning to grab Christen’s hand and dragged her through the group. Kelley didn’t bother to introduce Christen to any of her friends but Christen didn’t mind to much. Her thoughts were elsewhere anyway. As Kelley jerked Christen in the direction of the keg, Christen accidentally bumped into someone.

“I’m so sorry,” she immediately apologized as a few drops of beer spilled from the cup onto the shirt of the girl she just hit.

“It’s okay.” Christen glanced up and was met by a pair of warm brown eyes and the most infectious smile she had ever seen. Christen felt frozen as those eyes made her heart flutter and the smile caused one of her own to form. 

“Chris,” Kelley yelled hurriedly yanking Christen’s arm and willing her body to follow her to the alcohol. Seconds after breaking eye contact, Christen began internally scolding herself for being such an idiot. She was already over analyzing the barely-two sentence exchange and cringed at how much of a fool she had made of herself. Kelley placed a cup of cold, foamy beer into Christen’s hand and Christen chugged the thing in 5 seconds. Kelley had just finished filling her cup when Christen handed over her empty one to be refilled.

“Damn, Chris,” Kelley said raising her eyebrows slightly impressed by her friend. “First you break your no-smiling rule and now you’re chugging beers,” she said filling the cup up. Christen took the full cup of beer back into her hands and ignored Kelley’s comments. She was too busy kicking herself for how stupid she acted in front of Tobin Heath.

 

Christen sat down in the soccer net that was set up on the end of the field farther from the flashlight lit party. She had downed several beers and had down a keg stand after persistent pestering by Kelley. She was definitely starting to feel the alcohol taking effect on her body. She had spent the past few hours dancing and talking with teammates and other players. But the lingering pit-in-her-stomach feeling kept slowly creeping up before she finally took a minute to herself. 

She was watching the party from afar when one of the frat boys came over and approached her. His sloppy walk and glassed over eyes made even drunk Christen feel as if she was sober.

“Hey you,” he slurred as he got closer.

“Hi,” Christen hesitantly whispered back.

“Hot girls don’t belong in the dark. Come back and dance with me,” he held out his hand to Christen. Although she knew he was trying to flatter her, his words only made her feel uneasy and uncomfortable.

“No thank you,” Christen said politely while offering him a tight closed lip smile. 

“Oh come on. Don’t be so uptight,” he said reaching for Christen’s hand.

“Don’t touch me,” Christen said pulling her arm out of his loose grasp attempt. “I want to stay here.”

“Okay, fine,” he shrugged and plopped himself down next to her clearly not picking up on the hints she was giving him. Annoyance sparked through her and she caught a whiff of Captain Morgan on his breath. 

“So who are you?” He said leaning his face much closer than Christen wanted him to.

“For starters, she’s not interested.” 

Both Christen and the intoxicated boy looked up slightly shocked that someone else was there. Christen’s heart began to race as she took in the girl standing in front of them. Tobin stood there in tight fitting soccer pants that hugged her calves, a ‘2009 National Champions’ t-shirt and a matching champions hat spun backward on her head. 

“Fuck off. Leave us alone,” the guy said back as her draped a heavy arm around Christen’s shoulder. Christen instantly tried to shake him as her skin itched from the new contact. 

“Dude, did you not hear me? She’s not interested,” Tobin repeated strongly. 

“How the hell do you know what she wants? Who the hell even are you? Her bodyguard or something?”

“No,” Tobin said. “I’m just someone who’s gotten more girls than you’ll ever get in your whole life. So, trust me. She’s not interested.”

“Whatever. Fuck this,” the guy said removing his arm from around Christen and wobbled to stand up. “I don’t want a stuck up lezzie bitch anyway,” he said brushing past Tobin on his way back to the party. 

“Prick,” Tobin muttered and Christen let out a little laugh. Tobin smiled at the sound and both girls were caught looking into each other’s eyes.

“Thank you,” Christen finally said.

“It was no problem. It looked like you needed some help,” Tobin shrugged.

“You were watching me?” Christen smirked and raised her eyebrows at the midfielder who remained completely unchanged at Christen’s flirtatious behavior.

“It’s kind of hard not to watch you,” Tobin shrugged making Christen thankful they were in a darkened area so Tobin couldn’t see how much she was blushing. “Do you mind if I?” Tobin asked gesturing to the spot in the grass next to Christen.

“All yours,” Christen said patting the space to her right as Tobin made her way over to sit down. As Tobin settled in, Christen’s body buzzed at the quick brushes of Tobin’s arm against hers and the scent of Old Spice deodorant. She hoped that Tobin couldn’t hear her pounding heart rate that pulsed in her ears.

“So what are you doing all the way over here, anyway?” Tobin said. “Inside a soccer goal?” she added looking at the metal pipes surrounding them. 

“THE soccer goal,” Christen emphasized. “The one where I hit the post and lost the national championship,” she said pointing at the side of the net where her shot ricocheted off. Tobin laughed. “You think it’s funny,” Christen said annoyed at the mocking of the national team player. 

“No, no,” Tobin shook her head. “I mean kind of. It’s just, you’re not the reason your team lost. Hell, you’re probably the reason why they got to that game. You were great today.”

“I don’t want your pity,” Christen said taking a long sip of her drink.

“I’m not lying. Seriously, you were amazing.”

“But we lost,” Christen said as her shoulders sunk down into the rest of her body.

“Winning isn’t everything,” Tobin said leaning back onto her elbows looking up at the night sky. Christen snorted at the comment.

“Coming from the girl in the national champions t-shirt with an Olympic gold medal and probably hasn’t lost anything in her life,” Christen scoffed.

“I’ve lost a ton of things in my life,” Tobin defended.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Tobin momentarily pondered Christen’s question trying to dig through her memories.

“Oh,” Tobin sat up suddenly remembering. “In fourth grade, I lost the class spelling bee. Continent. That’s what I spelled wrong.”

“Oh silly me. And here I thought you were perfect,” Christen said sarcastically taking another big swig of her drink.

“I don’t think I’m perfect like you think I am,” Tobin responded.

“You won the national championship! Multiple times! You’re on the senior national team! You won an Olympic gold medal before you graduated college and you’re probably going to be drafted first overall in the WPS. So don’t tell me you’re not perfect!” Christen animatedly shouting. Tobin took a second to process everything Christen said silently.

“Is that what you think perfect is? Is that what you want?” Tobin said quietly with no hints of emotion in her tone.

“Of course that’s what I want! That’s what everyone here wants,” Christen said pointing to the people down on the other end of the field in front of them.

“It’s not what I want,” Tobin said quietly just loud enough for Christen to hear. Christen turned to the midfielder in complete shock and confusion as Tobin just stared down into her drink.

“You don’t?” Christen asked raising one eyebrow as Tobin just kept staring downward. Tobin just shook her head no and took a sip of the now-lukewarm beer. “What do you want then?”

Tobin thought for a second and then shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want to play soccer. Travel the world and learn and play and grow the game for everyone and give back to this sport that’s given me everything. But right now, like right this instance right now,” Tobin said pausing to finish the remaining half cup of beer in her hand. “I just want to kiss you.”

Christen’s heart began to flutter again as she just stared forward off in the distance. She was scared of getting any glimpse of Tobin in fear of her heart exploding. She could feel Tobin’s studying gaze out of the corner of her eye as she slowly processed, from all the alcohol in her system, what Tobin had just said. And she didn’t know if it was the beer or the lack of oxygen in her body from the game or how tired she was getting that fueled her to do what she said next.

She turned to Tobin and green-gray piecing eyes met the soft, warmness of chocolate brown ones. 

“Then, do it,” Christen whispered.


	2. The Only Things You Should Chase Are Shots and Dreams, Not Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's taken so long for an update! I've been super busy lately!

Christen rolled over in bed to the faint sound of buzzing coming from the table beside her. She begrudgingly lifted her eyelids slightly so she could peer through her eyelashes to see what was causing the noise. She saw her phone and grabbed it off the table. The brightness of the screen hurt her eyes as she tried to decipher the name on the phone in her slightly blind state. Once she was able to see it was Kelley, she slid open the phone and answered.

  
“Kelley?” she sleepily whispered, putting a hand on her forehead as she suddenly realized the pounding in her head.

  
“CHRISTEN!?” Kelley screamed back. Christen pulled the phone away from her ear at Kelley’s screech that only worsened her headache.

  
“Yeah what?” Christen said a little annoyed at the abrupt wake up.

  
“WHAT! WHAT! Christen I called you 30 times! Where are you? We’re leaving for the airport in two hours.” Christen closed her eyes, leaned back into the pillow and let out a deep sigh.

  
“Kelley, I’m in the room,” Christen was getting increasingly frustrated with her roommate.

  
“No you’re not,” Kelley said with concern in her voice. “Christen, where are you? Do you need me to come get you? Are you okay?” Christen quickly shook her sleepy state and suddenly shot up in shock and Kelley’s revelation. “Christen? Christen are you there?” Kelley’s voice came over the phone as Christen frantically scanned over her surroundings. She was in a room similar to the one her and Kelley were sharing. Except this one was more disorganized with clothes strewn everywhere, including her own. And there was someone else in her bed.

  
Christen’s heart raced faster as she took in the tanned, bare-back of a brunette girl lying beside her facing the wall. Her breathing picked up and she ran a hand through her hair as her anxiety began to cripple her. She was in a bed that wasn’t her own and she was naked. She felt her chest tighten as if she was about to have one of her panic attacks as she tried to remember anything about the night before, the girl in her bed, and how she ended up there. It wasn’t until she spotted the miniature national championship trophy on the desk in the corner that the fuzzy details from last night began to trickle in.

  
“Kelley, I have to go,” Christen said into the phone, hanging up as Kelley began to protest.

 

  
_“I just want to kiss you,” Tobin said._

_  
“Then do it,” Christen said staring deep into the chocolate brown eyes beside her. They stayed that way in silence for a few seconds as Tobin’s eyes studied Christen’s face. She wanted to make sure there was no hesitation or regret before doing anything. She wanted to make sure that Christen was comfortable it. She wanted to make sure Christen wanted to kiss her._

  
_Christen didn’t hesitate. She didn’t flinch. In fact, she was willing Tobin to move closer to her. And as if reading her mind, Tobin inched her face closer to Christen’s. Christen sucked in a sharp breath as Tobin’s lips slowly approached her own._

  
_It all happened so fast. Christen’s head was buzzing a little from the alcohol, but Tobin’s lips had her feeling a whole new kind of light-headedness. Tobin’s lips were as soft and pillowy as they looked. They tasted like stale beer and chapstick. She wasn’t aggressive, but she wasn’t too passive. That’s what Christen liked most about kissing girls. They actually knew how to girls liked to be kissed._

  
_The kiss was long and Christen felt Tobin start to pull her lips slowly off of hers. She let Tobin separate their lips every so slightly, allowing her to take a breath before grabbing a fist full of her t-shirt and pulled her back into her. Their lips came together again, but this kiss was much different. The first one was light and tender and fairly innocent, but this one was hungry and wanting._

  
_Christen wasn’t aware of how much she needed this, especially after the day she had. For the first time since the final game whistle, she didn’t think about those 90 minutes or the goal she hit off the post. She didn’t think about her failures and shortcomings and frustrations. She thought about Tobin._

_  
Her mind was flooded with only the sensational feeling of Tobin’s mouth meeting hers. How Tobin’s fingers threaded through her hair and pulled her face closer in. How Tobin’s tongue glided across Christen’s bottom lip begging for more contact. How Tobin’s abs felt underneath her fingertips that found their way under that hideous national champions t-shirt._

_  
“Holy fuck,” a voice broke Christen out of her trance and subsequently their lips apart as well. They looked up to find a frat guy standing in front of them watching in awe at the sight. “Kiss her again,” he creepily tried to encourage the two girls._

_  
“Fuck off, asshole,” Christen said throwing her empty cup at the guy who dipped his head out of the way and began to quickly retreat from the pair._

  
_“Do you want to get out of here?” Christen asked turning back to Tobin, her eyes dark and focused. Tobin’s eyes reactively widened at Christen’s bold offer. The desire in Christen’s eyes hit deep into Tobin’s core as she could only manage a nod in agreement. Before she knew it, Christen was up and pulling Tobin by the hand in the direction back to the hotel._

_  
“Do you think we should let someone know we’re leaving?” Tobin asked trailing slightly behind Christen._

_  
“No,” Christen said shortly letting Tobin know she no longer wanted to do any talking._

  
_They didn’t speak the whole walk back to the hotel and Tobin enjoyed the feeling of holding Christen’s hand more than she’ll ever admit. When they got into the elevator, Christen motioned for Tobin to select the button for her floor. Tobin pushed the number 4 and made a mental note to send a quick text to Ashlyn not to come back to their room that night, even though knowing Ashlyn she wasn’t planning to anyway._

_  
Almost immediately after the elevator doors closed, Tobin found herself being pushed back into the wall and Christen’s lips on hers. The kisses were quick and forceful and Tobin was glad the wall was supporting her._

  
_The elevator doors dinged open and Tobin took the opportunity to get in a role more comfortable for her and take control. Christen was being lead to Tobin’s door and she realized that she hadn’t thought this through. Normally meticulous and calculated, Christen let the alcohol take away all her doubts and second-guesses and forced any lingering thoughts deep down._

_  
They weren’t but two steps inside of the room before their lips found each other again. The kisses were still hungry and hot but they felt different. Both of them knew what was about to happen and the vibe in the room shifted._

  
_Christen quickly pulled Tobin’s shirt off over her head. She was half relieved to get the taunting t-shirt finally out of sight and half amazed by Tobin’s flawlessly lean body. The trip from the front hallway to the bed was quick, but they were able to lose a lot of clothes during that period. Tobin had Christen pinned against the bed with both of them in nothing but their final layer of clothing._

  
_The rest of the night was blurry and sloppy and quick, but really good. They navigated each other’s unfamiliar bodies to find pleasures and releases. It was a little messy, but before Christen knew it, Tobin’s skillful mouth was bringing her to a much needed release. After slowly coming down from her high, Christen went on a mission to do the same for Tobin. Christen needed a little more instruction from Tobin, but Tobin enjoyed everything Christen was doing to her. It didn’t take long before Tobin was riding out a blissful orgasm of her own._

  
_Tobin helped Christen come two more times and assured the worn out forward that she didn’t need to return the favor. Sweaty and breathless the two laid side by side in the bed, barely touching, staring up at the ceiling. Aside from the moans of pleasure, a few whispers of dirty talk, and some useful instruction, the two hadn’t said a word to the other. They both were catching their breath before Christen heard Tobin’s getting longer and deeper as she fell asleep. It wasn’t long after that a satisfied Christen found herself drifting off as well._

  
Christen slowly got out of the bed, carefully not to make any noise or movements to awaken the girl next to her. The cold morning air left goosebumps all over her bare skin as she began to search for her clothes. She couldn’t see either her bra or underwear among the mess on the floor and figured they were somewhere lost in the sheets. She decided she could do without them as she pulled her crumpled up shirt over her head. She pulled her jeans off the ground and began sliding into them. Like most soccer girls, she had to wiggle them over her muscular thighs and butt. In the process she knocked into the dresser with an audible thud.

  
“Christen?” Tobin called out as she stirred awake. Christen stood frozen half not knowing how to respond and half not wanting to. She cursed in her head as she quietly began to head to the door. “Are you leaving?” Tobin asked and Christen didn’t have a choice but to turn toward the bed where the midfielder now sat up with the comforter covering her bare chest.

  
“I have to go,” Christen said trying to sound apologetic.

  
“You weren't going to say goodbye?” Tobin asked not even trying to cover up the hurt in her voice. Christen closed her eyes shut as her heart strained at Tobin’s sadness.

  
“I have to get my flight,” Christen said quietly as she looked anywhere but the glassed over eyes staring at her. Christen could feel the tension building in the room as she turned away from the bed and back toward the door.

  
“Wait,” Tobin popped up out of bed, grabbing a t-shirt off the ground and slipping it over her head. Christen didn’t turn around or stop she was just focused on getting out the door.

  
“Christen, wait,” Tobin said slamming a palm on the door just as Christen was about to pull down on the handle. Christen squeezed her eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. She could feel the proximity of Tobin’s body near her’s and she couldn’t help how much her skin craved more contact. She could smell Tobin’s old spice deodorant and a scent that was just distinctly Tobin. She was breathless and overwhelmed.

  
“What?” Christen finally breathed out without turning around.

  
“Look at me,” Tobin urged. “Please,” she added suddenly realizing the demandingness of her tone. After a few hour-long seconds, Christen slowly rotated to face Tobin with her eyes glued to the ground.

  
“So what?” Tobin asked. “You just leave and that’s it?” Christen looked up and into the confused teary eyes of the girl in front of her.

  
“What did you expect? What did you want?” Christen said probably coming off a little harsher than intended.

  
“I,” Tobin struggled with words. “I don’t know,” she said shaking her head and furrowing her brows. “Your number?” Tobin shrugged as she stared down nervously waiting for Christen’s response.

  
“No.”

  
“No?” Tobin’s head shot up confused.

  
“No, Tobin,” Christen said as tears visibly starting pooling in the corners of Tobin’s eyes. “Last night was,” she said trying to formulate sentences. “Last night was a lot of things. I was drunk and you were drunk. And I was sad and you were. I don’t know what you were. But it happened. And that’s it. That’s all it was,” Christen said as she tried suppressing tears of her own while she watched Tobin’s trickle down her cheeks.

  
“Well, I didn’t expect you to be that kind of girl,” Tobin growled bitterly trying to hurt the girl who was hurting her.

  
“Fuck you, Tobin,” Christen spat back. “You don’t even know me.” They stood there in silence both refusing to look at each other and both refusing to be the one to speak first. “Look, you’re going back to UNC and I’m flying to the other side of the country. You’re graduating and you’re going to get drafted and you’re playing for the national team and I just don’t fit into your equation. And you don’t fit into mine either. Last night was,” Christen took in a breath to suck back tears that were threatening to spill out. “Honestly, last night was really great. But that’s all it was. I’m sorry, Tobin,” Christen said reaching a hand up to Tobin’s bicep to console her but her gesture was batted away.

  
“Don’t touch me,” Tobin said shifting from sad to stone cold. “Get out,” she demanded but Christen just stayed frozen in place. Tobin’s new demeanor scared her into shock. “Get. Out,” Tobin said even sterner through her clenched teeth. Christen just nodded and turned back to the door before quickly slipping out of the room.

  
Tobin stood stuck staring at the door trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. She tried to understand what she was feeling inside of her. She felt something that she hadn’t felt since the fourth grade when she forgot the ‘i’ in continent. That feeling but times a thousand. She couldn’t grasp this unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling. Tobin Heath lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!!


	3. Karma's Only A Bitch If You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so just want to clarify this chapter is like a fast forward to 2012 (so around 4 years later than the last two chapters)

“Hey, Pressy” Kelley’s drowsy voice came through the phone. Christen knew that even though it was only 10pm in Sweden, it was barely morning back in Atlanta where Kelley was.

 

“Hey, sorry. Did I wake you?” Christen said suddenly thinking it might have been best to just call her in the morning.

 

“Yes, but I have a rule that I always answer the phone when a pretty girl calls me,” Kelley said getting the usual cocky ‘swagger’ back in her voice.

“Shut up,” Christen said rolling her eyes at her friend. Kelley was always flirty, it’s just how she was, with a lot of girls and guys for that matter. But between them it’s always harmless. “Guess what?” Christen said giddily into the phone.

 

“What, Pressy?” 

 

“I got called into camp,” Christen said unable to contain her smile. She’s said it about 20 times now. She told her parents and her sisters, but mostly she just kept saying it to herself because she couldn’t believe it still.

 

“Holy shit, Chris,” Kelley yelled into the phone. “Oh my god, Press! This is amazing! I can’t wait to see you. And play with you. Holy shit, dream team is back together. I knew you’d be here. They’d be stupid not to bring you in.”

 

“Thanks, Kell. I’m excited too,” Christen truly could not contain her happiness. She was so overwhelmed with excitement, her worrying mind was at rest for a little while.

 

“This is so great. How’s Sweden?”

 

“Good, good. It’s, uh, a lot colder than LA, but it’s beautiful and the soccer’s nice.”

 

“And how bout the girls?” 

 

“Ugh,” Christen scoffed through the phone, thankful that Kelley couldn’t see how much she was blushing. Christen was never one to discuss details of her relationships or sex life; she just preferred to keep that information more private and intimate. But Kelley was blunt, open, and always trying to squeeze any sort of detail out of her college friend. “They’re,” Christen trailed a little. “Good. Really good,” Christen laughed a little.

 

“Atta girl. I taught you well,” Kelley said, making Christen shake her head.

 

“How’s Ann?”

 

“She’s good. A little stressed with school but we’re doing great,” Kelley said.

 

“Good. I’m glad you finally found a girl to tie you down.”

 

“The only tying down she does to me is.”

 

“Do NOT finish that sentence,” Christen interrupted her and they both started laughing. Christen heard Kelley yawn and she knew it was time to let her friend get back to bed.

 

“Alright, I won’t keep you up any longer,” Christen said. “I’ll see you in a week, Kell.”

 

“See you soon, Press. Love you and I’m really proud of you,” Kelley said sincerely.

 

“Don’t get soft on me now, O’Hara,” Christen joked.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Go to bed,” Kelley said with a yawn.

 

“Night, Kell.” Christen hung up the phone. She couldn’t fall asleep that night. Adrenaline was pumping throughout her body and she felt like a kid the night before Christmas morning. She was on cloud nine. Into the late hours of the night, she kept fighting sleep hoping she’d never wake up from this dream.

 

 

“Okay, so I’ll see you in 2 weeks,” Vero said as they stood in the airport terminal.

 

“Yes. Don’t miss me while I’m gone,” Christen smiled at her teammate, friend, and maybe a little bit more than friend. 

 

“I make no promises,” Vero said in her broken English. She was working on it for Christen’s sake, even though Christen had assured her she was already really good. Christen had been trying her hand at Spanish too.

 

Christen gave Vero a one-armed hug and Vero kissed Christen’s cheek before letting go.

 

“Go get them, superstar,” Vero called out as Christen headed toward the airport security.

 

The plane ride wasn’t great. Christen couldn’t fall asleep the whole time over, partly from the shaky flight but mostly from her own nerves keeping her mind running. The excitement of national team camp had faded away as soon as the plane had taken off. Since then, it had been complete fear and nervousness. She already thought through six or seven different ways she could mess up, make a fool of herself, or just flat out choke. 

 

Sixteen hours later the plane finally landed in LA. Most people dreaded navigating through LAX, but Christen savored the feeling of arriving home. She trudged her way off the plane and felt a slight weight off of her shoulder as she escaped the cramped space. She followed the crowd as everyone headed to the baggage terminal. Her phone’s signal finally came back on and a few texts came in. There was one from one of the assistants with information about where to meet the car taking them to the hotel. Kelley texted her that she had already landed and was on her way back to the hotel. And then another one letting her know they were rooming together, which was a welcomed relief.

 

She grabbed her bag off the carousel and made her way to the location of the van. As she made her way over, she spotted a group of women in blue warm-up suits matching the one she was wearing that US Soccer had sent her before camp. She approached the group and noticed a few familiar faces from people she’s played with, played against, and just idolized. She could feel her heart rate picking up and her hands sweating. They all looked like they were old friends and she dreaded being the new girl. 

 

“Well look who we have here,” Abby’s voice boomed over everyone’s chatter as they all turned toward Christen’s direction. Christen’s heart dropped into her stomach.

 

“Hey Abby,” she tried to choke out but her voice cracked. Her former magicJack teammate walked over and embraced her into a huge hug. 

 

“It’s good to finally see you in some US Soccer gear,” Abby beamed taking the forward under her arm and leading her closer to the rest of the girls. “Everyone meet the new kid. Christen, this is Ali,” Abby said pointing at the girl with one of the most beautiful smiles in world. “You know Becky, and then Syd the Kid, Alex, Cheney, and Tobin.”

 

Each one greeted Christen with a hey or a welcoming smile as Abby went around the circle. Except Tobin. 

 

This was the first time either one of them had seen each other in almost 4 years. Tobin looked almost exactly the same as she did in Christen’s blurry memory of that night. Her hair was a little longer now but she still kept it under a backward hat. She looked shorter but maybe it was just the way she was shifting her weight around from foot to foot. She looked leaner and more muscular and Christen was in shock that was even possible. And even though she didn't look Christen in the eye or offer more than a tight lipped smile, she still looked good. Christen wondered what she had been up to since that night at the college cup. Christen wondered if she even remembered that night at the college cup.

 

The van horn beeped and Abby helped Christen with their bags as everyone piled into the van. Syd, Becky and Alex piled in the back and Abby got in the front. Christen started the middle row of seats and Tobin was about to jump into the car before realizing where her next option would be. It was a subtle realization and nobody but Christen even noticed it. Tobin waited an extra second to let Ali slip into the car before her, creating some sort of barrier between her and Christen. Christen wasn't sure if Tobin was being a coward or not, but she cursed her past self for giving another thing to stress about during this camp.

 

The first day of camp went by in a blur. Most of it was spent catching up with teammates they haven’t seen in awhile, napping, and eating. Christen was relieved to have Kelley with her. She didn’t realize how much she missed being around her former college teammate. Kelley was loud and outgoing and almost the opposite of Christen who was more reserved. But Kelley was also kind and made sure to introduce Christen to everyone and always include her in the conversation.

 

They finished the day with a team meeting with Pia and the rest of the coaching staff. They were really focused on getting a roster for the Olympics. They went over the general plan for the week and Christen was exhausted already thinking about it. Tomorrow morning was strictly fitness and since the beginning of time Christen always dreading the beep test. But she knew if she wanted the ever represent the USA one day, she’d have to grow to love it.

 

After the meeting ended, everyone dispersed. Most were tired from flying and wanted to get caught up on sleep before the fitness day. A few girls went to call their significant others, including Kelley. Christen decided to call her parents quick in an empty room she found. She teared up a little bit when talking to them but ultimately she felt better about camp.

 

She walked toward the elevator just as she saw the doors about to close.

 

“Hold the door,” she called out picking up her pace to the shutting doors. A hand reached out between them and they bounced open.

 

“Thanks,” Christen said stepping into the elevator. But as the doors closed behind her, she felt like her insides dropped. Tobin stood leaning up against one of the sides of the elevator.

 

“Yeah,” Tobin mumbled pulling her phone out of her pocket refusing to look in Christen’s direction. Christen took a deep breath, swallowed, and pressed the button to her floor before heading to the opposite side of the small space. 

 

“Tobin,” Christen said quietly thinking how weird it was to say her name out loud.

 

“No,” Tobin muttered not even bothering to look up from her phone.

 

“What?” Christen said taken aback.

 

“No,” Tobin said more emphatically looking up raising her eyebrows. 

 

“No, what?” Christen said getting slightly annoyed.

 

“No, this,” Tobin said waving her arms between the two of them. “I’m not interested in doing a let’s forget anything ever happened and start over and let’s be friends thing. I’ll pass you the ball if you’re open and I’ll be cordial in public. But honestly, I want to spend as little time with you as possible. I’m here to play soccer, that’s it.” There was a harshness in Tobin’s voice that took Christen completely aback. The words cut Christen harder than she wanted them too and the elevator dinged as the doors opened to Tobin’s floor. Tobin stepped out of the elevator and turned back just before the elevator doors shut again.

 

“If you can’t handle that, you probably shouldn’t have fucked me,” Tobin said intentionally pausing for half a second as the doors began to close. “Over,” she finally added before the doors cut them off from each other.

 

Tears began to fall down Christen’s cheeks and she hated herself for that. When the elevator got to her floor she quickly made her way to her and and shut the door behind her. She pressed her back up against it and slid down until she was on the ground. She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. She stiffened as she felt a pair of arms come around her shoulders. 

 

“Pressy,” she heard Kelley whisper into her hair as her friend pulled her into her body. “Shhh, Chris, Chris,” Kelley said rubbing her back. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I just,” Christen tried to speak between her sobs. “I talked,” she said sucking in a sob. “Tobin,” she said causing her to break out in another round of crying. She didn’t have to say more and Kelley didn’t have to ask. 

 

Christen hated how Tobin talked to her. She hated how Tobin could make her feel this way. She hated that this is what she was worried about when she had the biggest audition of her life awaiting her tomorrow . But mostly, she hated her stupid, naive 20-year-old self for being a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just want to give a heads up I'm planning on making this story have a lot of dirty scenes so if that's not your thing beware. and as always thanks for reading. and if you read if I lay here please help get my ass into gear to update (sorry x10000)


	4. Close, But No Cigar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi so I was at the game in Philly on wednesday and it was amazing. there were so many people there which made me happy and I was super close to the field and omg Christen and Tobin both are even more attractive in person. but tbh Kelley is probably the most attractive person I've ever seen. And she's so tiny you don't even realize. Anyway it was a good game and I'm excited because I get to see them again tomorrow :))))) so fingers crossed for a Preath goal?

Camp was….good. That’s probably the best word Christen could use to describe it. She was thrilled to be there, finally seeing how it operates from the inside, and play with some of the best soccer players in the world. But she was exhausted and sore. She trained hard and was fit, but she had no idea how physically grueling it was going to be playing at the top. She felt like she showed really well though. She was beginning to mesh with the girls on the team, both on and off the field. She was scoring some great goals and she was keeping up. 

But she wasn’t Abby, who used her height to her advantage for heading and set pieces. Something Christen never really cared for. She wasn’t Syd who was fast and strong and fearless. She wasn’t Arod who had a world of experience and poise. And she wasn’t Alex. Well, they were actually more similar than most people thought. They were quick on their cuts, flashy, and able to pull the trigger with both feet. But Alex was the emerging face of US women’s soccer and Christen was the newbie who played club soccer in Sweden. 

So it wasn’t much of a shock when on the last day of camp, Pia sat down with Christen and told her she probably wouldn’t be on the Olympic roster. Christen had already come to that conclusion on her own, but it still hurt. It hurts to be so close to your dream and then have it pulled away from you just when you felt like you could actually reach it. Pia told her she’d be coming with them as an alternate, which wasn’t the most thrilling news in the world but she’d take any opportunity to be close to US soccer. 

Technically, it was their final day in camp. They didn’t have any trainings; it was mostly just meetings. They all individually met with Pia to discuss their futures and their prospects of making the Olympic roster. After they concluded they had a close out meeting and were done for the day around 1. Most of the girls, giddy with Olympic gold dreams, chose to spend the day going to the beach and looking forward to a fun night out in the city later tonight. And while Christen loved the girls, she didn’t really feel like being around the team right now.

Her parents picked her up from the hotel, with her puppies in the backseat. It was something that quickly put a smile on her face. Her sisters came to visit as a surprise and she enjoyed the afternoon she spent with her family. It was a shorter visit than Christen wanted, or even needed, but she felt happy. She had a sadness deep down, but for a moment, she felt truly happy. As the looming goodbye approached, the sadness began to creep up. 

When Christen’s parents drove her back, she asked them to drop her off at the beach a few blocks from the hotel. Christen hugged them all goodbye, trying to hold back a few tears. They week had been so emotionally straining that the last thing she wanted to do was go halfway across the world without her support system. Finally, after another round of hugs, her parents got in the car and drove off. Christen quietly let the tears spill onto her cheeks as she headed to the sand and the ocean.

LA smelled different. It smelled like salt and greasy food and pollution. Sweden’s air was fresher and pure, but Christen loved this smell. It was home. She loved how the sand felt underneath her blistered feet and how the evening breeze felt in her hair. She watched families pack up their remaining toys and blankets trying to get to the car before the sunlight disappeared. There was a group of people sitting out on boards in the water trying to catch on last good wave of the day. Christen took in the beauty of all it as the colors of the sunrise lit up the sky around her. She took a deep breath as tears began to dry on her cheeks.

“Beautiful isn’t it,” a voice broke Christen out of her own thoughts. She turned to her left and saw Tobin. She was sitting about 20 yards away from her in the sand in a wetsuit that’s top was pulled down revealing a sports bra and defined abs. Her hair was pulled back and damp and there was a surfboard laying beside her.

“It was,” Christen said almost laughing about how ironic this was. “But now it’s ruined,” she said turning away from the midfielder in the sand.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic,” Tobin called after her. This angered the already overly emotional forward. 

“Don’t you dare,” Christen growled at Tobin as more tears began to prickle at her eyes. 

“Wait are you crying?” Tobin was confused. Christen squeezed her eyes and took a sharp breath in. “Christen, are you okay?” Tobin asked with genuine concern in her voice.

“Why do you even care?” Christen opened her eyes as more tears fell.

Tobin shrugged. “I don’t know. Cause I do.” 

“Oh so you just get to pick and choose when you want to care about me and be in my life. And I just have to wait around,” Christen snapped.

“Woah,” Tobin whispered in complete shock at Christen’s angry explosion.

“Sorry,” Christen said shaking her head. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. Well at least not that much anyway,” both Tobin and Christen let out a small little laugh. “It’s just been a rough day.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Christen said softly looking down at the sand and shaking her head.

“Wanna sit? It’d be a shame to miss such a beautiful sunset,” Tobin motioned to the ground next to her. 

Christen looked at Tobin, then to the ocean and the illuminated sky. She took a few steps over toward Tobin and plopped down on the ground a few feet away from where Tobin sat. Tobin let out a soft chuckle and turned to face the sunset.

They sat there in silence taking in the beauty of their surroundings. People on surfboards began to paddle to the shore and the colors of the sky changed from yellow to orange to pink. 

“I didn’t make the team,” Christen finally said.

“They didn’t even release the roster yet. You don’t know that.”

“Pia told me. Today in our meeting,” Christen said. Tobin nodded pondering what Christen just said.

“I’m sorry,” Tobin finally offered.

“No you’re not,” Christen sniffled wiping away some old tears on her face.

“Yeah,” Tobin said turning toward Christen. “I am. I am sorry. Because you’re good. Like really fucking good.” Christen turned toward Tobin with a confused look on her face. “I thought so back in college too. And in the WPS. And over in Sweden. And you showed really well here,” Tobin rambled off looking as if she was trying to figure out the reasoning behind Pia’s decision. 

“You’ve been watching me?” Christen asked with a small little smile on her face.

Tobin rolled her eyes and shook her head, but she was smiling.

“It’s kind of hard not to watch you,” she said refusing to look over at Christen who also had a huge smile on her face.

“Thank you,” Christen said softly.

“For what?” Tobin asked turning away from the last bit of sunlight in the sky.

“You know.” Tobin pursed her lips together and nodded.

“The Olympics are overrated anyway,” Tobin said. Christen let out a loud laugh and Tobin’s heart clenched a little at the sound. She had never heard Christen laugh before and it was beautiful.

“No they’re not,” Christen said.

“I know. I was just trying to make you feel better.”

“I know,” Christen nodded.

“2015 World Cup, though. You’ll be there,” Tobin said sounding definite. “And Olympics in 2016.”

“I know you’re just trying to cheer me up, but you don’t know that.”

“I’m not trying to cheer you up,” Tobin said. “I mean I was before, but that wasn’t what I was just doing,” she quickly added. “I mean it. You’ll be there. You’re too good to ignore.”

“And yet somehow you’ve been able to do it,” Christen retorted.

“I,” Tobin shifted side to side thinking about how to phrase her next words. “I avoided you. I tried to ignore you. But like I said, it’s just too hard.” 

Christen didn’t know what to say and it seemed like Tobin didn’t mind her not responding. Tobin stood up and began to peel off the rest of the wet suit. Christen tried her best not to stare, but she couldn’t help her eyes raking over Tobin’s muscular figure. Tobin tossed the damp piece of clothing onto the board and pulled on a pair of soccer pants and a US soccer sweatshirt.

“We should get going,” Tobin said offering a hand out to Christen. Christen cautiously accepted and slipped her hand into Tobin’s. Tobin’s hand was large and much softer than Christen thought it would be. She helped pull her off the ground before quickly releasing it to pick up her belongings. 

They walked back to the hotel in silence. Not an awkward one or a tension-filled one, but a comfortable one. One that felt familiar and safe. They parted ways in the elevator with a simple see you later. Tobin was probably going out with the rest of the team later tonight. But Christen decided she wasn’t going to. She was tired and a little sad and just wanted to pack and get ready to go back to Sweden. Kelley begged and begged but Christen wasn’t going to change her mind this time around.

“Kell,” Christen said shaking her roommate. Kelley had come back really late and really drunk last night. Christen tried to be as gentle as possible knowing how cranky Kelley gets in the morning.

“What?” Kelley groaned turning over to Christen without opening her eyes.

“I’m leaving to get my flight,” Christen said softly. Kelley immediately sat up and rubbed her eyes open.

“CP,” she said sadly. “I’m going to miss you,” she said reaching out to bring her friend into a hug. Christen squeezed back as her friend tried to pull her down into the bed. “Be good in Sweden. And update me on you love life, please. You know I live off gossip.” Christen laughed as she stood up out of Kelley’s bear hug.

“Okay,” Christen rolled her eyes.

“And Press,” Kelley called out as Christen began to leave. They stared at each other and in the silence Christen knew exactly what Kelley was trying to say. She sent her sympathies about the Tobin situation. About the Olympics. Christen nodded.

“I’ll see you in camp, Kell,” Christen said before heading out the door.

“Night, Press,” Kelley said falling back into her bed.

Christen softly shut the door behind her and headed down to the lobby where the van was taking some of the girls who had early flights out to the airport. Christen loaded her luggage in the back of the van before slipping into the middle seat. Tobin and Cheney were sitting in the back. Tobin gave her a welcoming nod as she slid into the spot next to Alex. 

They were the only four flying out early. They all checked in together and went through security. They separated when Christen and Tobin had to fly out through the international terminal--Christen to Sweden and Tobin to Paris. They said their goodbyes to Cheney and Alex before heading in a different direction.

They grabbed coffee together and there was a tentative politeness between them. Neither knowing how to act around the other or what the new rules of their relationship entailed. They made small talk before they got to Christen’s gate. 

“Well this is my gate,” Christen said. “You’re welcome to wait if you want,” she offered to Tobin.

“I, uh,” Tobin stuttered. “My gate’s all the way down on the other side of the terminal. I don’t want to cut it too close,” she said and Christen sensed a bit of sadness in her voice. Christen tried to convince herself she was imagining it or that the slight feeling of rejection wasn’t there.

“Oh, okay,” Christen said coolly as they both stood awkwardly not knowing how to say goodbye.

Tobin reached for Christen’s phone that was in her hand and tapped away.

“Here,” she said handing Christen’s phone back to her. Christen looked down and saw the new contact input with Tobin’s number in it. “That’s my number. So now you have it,” Tobin had a mischievous half grin on her face. Christen stood there, heart racing and stunned. “See you around, Christen Press,” Tobin said casually before turning toward her gate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always let me know what you think (also apologies if this chapter was a little slow. I promise more action and action ;) in the next one)


	5. Hitting the Woodwork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "you're not dragging me to 3 soccer games in one week" -my gf after I tried to convince her to go to the game tonight in DC :((

Since Christen was just going to be an alternate for the Olympics, she wasn’t called in for the CONCACAF or Algarve Cup tournaments. But that was fine with her. She was enjoying playing in Sweden where she was getting substantial minutes and scoring goals. She wanted to give Pia something to look at as she knew the new cycle and recruiting was going to begin after the Olympics. She was also enjoying her new romance with Vero. She was hesitant about it at first, but Vero was always so sweet and understanding that Christen found herself starting to develop feelings. They weren’t rushing anything but they went on dates and hooked up frequently. They didn’t have any label. Or at least hadn’t talking about labeling anything when Christen flew out to meet the team at their LA camp before the Olympics. 

She was flying in a day late to camp. It didn’t really matter too much for her, but the internationals usually got in a date late to camp because of the release day from their clubs. The flight seemed quick. She watched a few movies and read a lot of her book on mindfulness and she was landing in LA before she knew it. It was the late in the night when she finally landed. She was exhausted and just wanted to get to bed before a day of soccer and jet lag finally hit. She made her way to where the team van was waiting for her and she loaded up her suitcase before jumping in the back seat.

“Hey Press,” the Ryan, the equipment manager, said from the front seat.

“Hey, Ryan,” Press gave a weak smile and leaned back into the plush seats.

“Just waiting for Tobin and we’ll be all set. She should be here any minute.”

Christen was nervous but she was way too exhausted to overthink the possible scenarios in her head. She hadn’t seen Tobin since last camp. Well not in person anyway. She had watched her play in the CONCACAF tournament and the Algarve Cup games. She also found herself watching some PSG games which she justified as just learning purposes. She hadn’t texted her though. She wanted to; she really did. She opened a new message to her probably 100 times, but she just couldn’t think of the right thing to say.

“Hey, Ryan,” a cheery voice greeted opening the side door. “Hey, Press,” Tobin flashed her stupidly, perfect, infectious grin at Christen as she plopped down in the row of seats. It was so casual and normal and Christen hated that this didn’t give Tobin the kind of anxiety it gave her.

“Hi, Tobin,” Christen said quietly back. They didn’t talk the whole way back to the hotel. Tobin had fallen into a light sleep and Christen carefully studied the midfielder beside her. Her hair was in a messy bun and a lot of it hadn’t even made it in the hair tie. She was in her signature black soccer pants and her shoelaces were both untied. She had on a blue Carolina women’s soccer shirt that was a little tattered from it’s many washes and probably overuse. She looked so not put together and it bugged Christen to no end how well she pulled it off. 

Her jaw line was unreal. Christen always forgot how sharp it was. Her lips were large and pillowy and they looked super soft. And Christen didn’t know if it was the lack of sleep was making her delirious but her thoughts shifted to wanting to kiss along that jaw line. She wanted to remember how soft Tobin’s lips felt on hers. She wanted those lips on her neck and her teeth on her skin. She wanted to take her hair out and run her hands through it. Luckily, the van came to a hard stop, jolting Tobin awake and Christen out of a daydream she was about to take way too far. 

 

Christen and Tobin ended up rooming together this camp. It was mostly because they both flew in late and the coaches didn’t want to disturb any players during the night. Christen wondered whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, but she knew Tobin was professional, focused and non confrontational enough to not let it be an issue. 

This camp for Christen was much different than the previous one. While everyone was intense and focused but also giddy with excitement, Christen was more reserved. She knew her role in this situation and was trying to make the most of it. She used this time to listen and watch and get scrimmaging experience and feedback and to break out of her comfort zone and try new things. She was doing really well, but she knew the coaches had many other things on their mind rather than looking for a new forward for the next cycle. 

It was one of the final trainings for the camp before their were heading off to London. They were in their second session, which was scheduled for the late evening because of how hot LA summer days got. They were full field scrimmaging and Tobin was just a little off. She was still performing well, but she wasn’t connecting some of her passes and her services on corners weren’t hitting their marks. But she was letting her frustration show and she ended up doing a sloppy, yellow-card-worthy tackle on Syd. Pia immediately pulled her from the scrimmage and a few of the coaches exchanged some words with Tobin after the practice ended.

Christen knew Tobin was frustrated. Everyone did; Tobin had it written all over her face. When she got on the bus she sat in a seat by herself and immediately put her headphones in. She didn’t talk to Cheney or Alex or Amy; she just silently rode the whole way back and tried to get off the bus as fast as possible when they arrived back at the hotel. When her and Christen got into their room, Tobin flopped down onto her bed, buried her face into a pillow, and let out a frustrated groan.

“Wanna talk about it?” Christen asked cautiously as she sat opposite of Tobin on her own bed.

“No,” Tobin said sharply.

“Wanna not talk about it?” Christen asked softly. Tobin picked her head up and turned to look over at Christen. She stared at her for a few seconds before she began to realize what Christen meant. Tobin clenched her jaw tight and swallowed hard.

“I think I need to take a shower,” Tobin muttered out before getting up and going into the bathroom.

Tobin began running the shower water, at first debating a cold one but quickly switching the handle to hot. She slipped out of her clothes and hopped into the almost burning hot stream. She didn’t wash her hair or her body; she just stood underneath the water letting it fall all over her skin. She had one hand on the shower wall supporting most of her weight as she leaned closer into the water. She closed her eyes and just let herself zone out of all her thoughts. It’s probably why she didn’t hear the bathroom door open and close. Or the shower curtain being pulled back a little bit. Or the splash of feet hitting the water behind her.

It’s probably why she stiffened in shock as she felt a hand glide along her hip bone. Her body tensed into a bare body that was now behind her. She wanted to turn around but the strong grip on her hips kept her from moving too much.

“Shh,” Christen whispered directly into Tobin’s ear, her lips brushing against it.

Christen’s fingers slowly moved upward to the hills and valleys of Tobin’s abs and Tobin softened into her touch. It felt good with the warm water and Tobin closed her eyes. She couldn’t clear her head anymore, but her thoughts were no longer about soccer. She was solely focused on the sensitive pads of Christen’s finger tips on her body.

“Is this okay?” Christen whispered seductively into Tobin’s neck.

“Mhm,” was all Tobin could manage to get out, half in shock and half in euphoria. 

And with that, Christen began running her hands agonizingly slow up and down Tobin’s midsection always stopping right before getting to one of Tobin’s more sensitive areas. Tobin leaned her body back into Christen’s and gave the other women complete control. Christen’s one hand came up to the bottom of Tobin’s breast before stopping and Tobin had to stifle a moan.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Tobin breathed out, desperate for more contact. Christen pressed her lips into the skin where Tobin’s neck met her collarbone and moved her hands higher on Tobin’s chest. Christen’s fingers barely skimmed over Tobin’s nipple, and it instantly hardened at the contact. Christen savored how turned on Tobin was but vowed not to tease her too much. Christen held Tobin’s nipple between two of her fingers as she began to lightly tug and flick it while her other hand came up to do the same. Tobin threw her head back onto Christen’s shoulder in complete pleasure, and Christen’s mouth attacked Tobin’s newly exposed neck with kisses and soft bites.

Christen kept going like that with Tobin’s breasts for a few minutes. She was enjoying the sound of Tobin moaning from the overwhelming pleasure of Christen’s fingers and her mouth. After the frustrating day Tobin had, Christen wouldn’t be surprised if she could make Tobin come like this. But she didn’t want to take the chance and find out. Christen’s right hand stopped and started traveling down Tobin’s front while the left continued circling Tobin’s nipple. As Christen’s hand got dangerously close where Tobin needed her most, she stopped just short.

“Fuck,” Tobin let out a throaty whine as she ached for Christen to keep going.

“Are you sure?” Christen spoke into Tobin’s shoulder.

“Fuck me, Christen,” Tobin said hungirly. “Please,” she moaned.

With that, Christen gently ran two of her finger over Tobin’s fold and she let out a helpless moan. They were in the shower, but Christen could still feel how wet Tobin was on her own. She dragged her fingertips over Tobin’s skin before finally giving her what she wanted. She inserted two of her fingers inside Tobin, and the midfielder’s muscles clenched throughout her whole body. Tobin pressed her body onto Christen’s as she felt her thoughts going blank. 

It didn’t take long. Tobin was frustrated from more than just soccer. The feeling of Christen’s fingers on her nipple mixed with her teeth on her shoulder and the fingers moving determinedly inside of her made every one of Tobin’s nerves tingle. Within a few minutes Tobin screamed out a slew of filthy words as she began to tighten around Christen’s finger.

“Come for me, Tobin,” Christen whispered into Tobin’s ear. Everything after that went blank. The orgasm rocked her so hard. When she finally caught her breath, Christen was supporting most of her weight and lightly kissing her skin.

“Are you okay?” Christen asked between kisses.

“Yes,” Tobin said breathlessly. Truthfully, she didn’t know if she was or if she wasn’t. She was still trying to come down from her orgasm all while grasping the fact this had actually happened. 

“Okay,” Christen said slowly removing her hands from Tobin’s now over sensitive skin. “I’ll let you, um, finish up.” Christen jumped out of the shower and grabbed a towel before leaving the bathroom.

Tobin stayed in the shower for a few more minutes after finally shutting off the water. She completely forgot to wash her hair so she just threw it up in a sloppy bun. She stared at herself in the mirror trying to come to terms with what just happened. She slipped into a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt before taking a deep breath and entering the bedroom. 

Christen was sitting in her bed with her back up against the headboard. Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing a pair of short Nike shorts and a see-through white tank top. She had a book in her lap and barely looked up when Tobin came back into the room. Tobin got into her own bed and pulled out her phone and began scrolling through her ESPN app to see all the scores of games she had missed that day. After about 30 minutes of that, Christen reached over to the table between their beds and turned off the lights so only Tobin’s phone light was illuminating the room. Tobin listened as Christen shifted in her bed trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Shortly after, Tobin locked her phone and set it down on the table before trying to attempt to sleep.

She laid staring up at the ceiling through the darkness unable to fight off the millions of things swirling in her mind. 

“I’m seeing someone,” Tobin said so quietly she wasn’t even sure if Christen had heard her.

“Me too,” Christen said sadly back after a few seconds.

“Oh,” was all Tobin said. After several more minutes of silence, Tobin finally was able to start drifting to sleep that night. She fell asleep sad. But she couldn’t figure out if she was sad because she felt like she betrayed the women she was seeing back in Paris. Or if it was because she thought she was losing a starting spot on the team. Or, worst of all, if it was because she wanted someone she couldn’t have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it!!! as always let me know what you think! and little spoiler alert, this fic may seem like it's going the direction of most other fics out there but I promise it's not. think you'll be pleasantly surprised (I hope, who knows) 
> 
> anyway I got a tumblr so follow me balr33.tumblr.com and bug me to update if I'm taking too long or message me if you just want to chat about soccer and this dreaded 3 back formation JE is trying to make work
> 
> thanks for reading xx


	6. It Takes All 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did write something about this on a different chapter but just a fair warning to everyone reading this story will be very smut filled. so if you're not okay with that I won't be offended if you stop reading

They finally got to London and it was amazing. Christen had been to the city before, but it was never like this. Millions of people gathered and top athletes from all different sports around the world were in one place. She was in complete awe as she took it all in. She was rooming with Kling, who was also an alternate, and she was thankful for that. 

Everything was a whirlwind from the opening ceremonies to their first games. The team was doing extremely well and Christen was doing her part as an alternate to offer support and help push them in trainings. After a nail-biting game against France, the team easily handled the rest of the group and were on to the next round.

The night of their win against Korea, Christen came down to the pool after dinner. The weather in London was humid and rainy and nothing like the LA sun she longed for. She needed to feel a little bit of home and decided to take a dip in the hot tub. Majority of the athletes weren’t really allowed to use the pool or hot tub during competition periods so the area was empty. Christen sat in the warm water, enjoying how it prickled her skin and closed her eyes. 

“Hey,” a voice startled Christen out of her daydreaming. Christen turned to her left to see Tobin taking a seat next to her on the hot tub’s ledge. She dangled both her feet in only letting the water come up to right under her knee caps. 

“Hi,” Christen said shakily as Tobin leaned back onto her hands. “What’s up?” Christen asked studying Tobin’s face. It was a little off. She didn’t look as relaxed as she normally did. Tobin just shrugged and gave a small half smile to Christen. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Tobin smirked and raised her eyebrows at Christen. Christen rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Actually, talk about it,” Christen clarified as Tobin smirked.

“It’s stupid. Don’t worry about it,” Tobin dismissed her concerns. 

“Is it actually stupid or you just don’t want to talk about it with me?” Tobin thought about it for a few seconds kicking her feet through the water. 

“It’s just. I haven’t started the last two games. And it’s stupid for me to complain about because,” Tobin trailed off.

“Because I’m not even on the roster,” Christen finished for her.

“Yeah,” Tobin said.

“I know my place here. I’m a big girl, I can handle it,” Christen said. They sat like that next to each other for a minute or so just listening to the hum of the hot tub jets. “You still got minutes in those games. You just didn’t start because they’re easy opponents. You’re one of the best players on the team. Don’t overthink it.”

“I’m trying not to but I can’t help it.”

“You’re better when you’re not thinking. When you just play the game. Clear your head and just play.”

“How do I do that?” Tobin asked desperately and Christen just laughed.

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out,” Christen said and they both laughed. They sat in the pool area for another five minutes just enjoying the water before they had to go up to their rooms at curfew.

 

After the semi-final thriller against Canada, everyone was on a high. They were buzzing with adrenaline and giddy with Olympic gold dreams. It wasn’t until the next day, the mood shifted. They had made it to the final, but they knew their opponent was Japan. Most of the Olympic roster had been on the pitch a year earlier in Germany in their game against Japan. That heartbreaking lost left wounds that still hurt and still haven’t healed. The flashbacks from that day came back, even though they all tried to make it seem like it didn’t bother them. Tobin still hadn’t even taken a penalty since that day. Practices got more intense and the focus was solely on redemption. 

Pia took note of how hard everyone was working at practice and cancelled the evening training session that day before the final. She wanted everyone to relax and try and take the pressure off and their minds off of the game. Most of the girls spent the evening with their families touring around the city. Tobin’s girlfriend, Shirley, had come from Paris to watch the game so they went to dinner together. Christen’s parents had other reservations expecting her to be in practice, so she spent the night with her best friend from home, Nima, who had traveled for the games. 

“So, uh, how’s Vero?” Nima asked before taking a large bite of the bread they placed on the table. 

“Good,” Christen nodded contently, focusing on delicately spreading the butter on her piece of bread.

“So are you guys what? Dating now?” He said between chewing.

“Ew, chew with your mouth closed,” Christen scrunched her face at her friend who just chewed more obnoxiously after that. Christen just rolled her eyes. “We’re not dating,” Christen stressed the labeling word. “Just hanging out I guess.”

“Hm,” Nima said nodding at this. “How’s Tobin?” He pushed. Christen had told him mostly everything about her and Tobin’s encounters, sparing some of the more intimate details.

“She’s with her girlfriend,” Christen pursed her lips together and nodded.

“Oh,” was all Nima said. “Does that bother you?” 

Christen scoffed at his question. “I’m not trying to date her.”

“Then what are you trying to do?”

“I don’t know,” Christen said getting a little annoyed at the constant prying into a subject she was more sensitive about than she even knew. “I’m just having fun and doing what I want.”

“Yeah, but she has a girlfriend, CP.” 

Christen shrugged and took a bite out of her bread. “That’s her problem, not mine.”

“Just be careful, Chris,” Nima said giving up on trying to reason with Christen. He knew Christen too well. She was calculated and smart, but he also knew she was emotional and daring and couldn’t be talked out of something she already made her mind up on.

 

Back in the room that night, Christen was laying on her bed half watching the swimming events half tapping mindlessly on her phone. Kling still hadn’t come back yet for the night, but they still had a half hour until curfew. There was a knock on the door and Christen rolled her eyes thinking Kling had locked herself out of the room.

“Locked out?” Christen asked opening the door. But it wasn’t Kling standing there in the hallway. It was Tobin. She was in a white pullover hoodie, old red uniform shorts, and, in classic Tobin style, no shoes. She just stood there silently looking sad, and scared and conflicted.

“Hi?” Christen asked confused at the midfielder’s presence. 

“I’m sorry,” Tobin said furrowing her brows and shaking her head. “This is was stupid I should go,” she said turning off down the hallway.

“Wait,” Christen called out after her. “You’re already here so you might as well just ask.”

Tobin stopped and turned around. Her eyes were closed and she swallowed hard. Tobin stared at the ground as Christen studied the woman in front of her waiting for her to speak.

“I need,” Tobin started still looking down. “I need your help,” she said softly.

“With what?” Christen watched Tobin take a deep breath before finally looking up into her eyes.

“Help me clear my head,” Tobin asked. Her eyes were sad and desperate and vulnerable. Christen was still trying to process everything when it finally clicked what Tobin wanted.

“How do you want me to do that?” Christen challenged the girl in front her, knowing full well what she wanted. 

“You know,” Tobin said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“Your girlfriend couldn’t take care of that for you?” Christen asked with a little more bite in her voice than she originally intended to.

“Not like you can,” Tobin sadly admitted. Tobin’s word hit Christen hard. It felt like the floor had fallen out from underneath her and she could feel her muscles tighten lower. Christen licked her lips and let out a breath she had been holding in. She pushed open her hotel room door further and waited. Tobin pursed her lips together and slid past Christen into the room. 

Christen quickly took a glance down the hallway just to make sure no one had seen them. She shut the door and bolted it closed. She made her way into the room and Tobin had already taken her sweatshirt off and was standing in the middle of the room in just her sports bra. Christen always had to control herself whenever Tobin’s body was exposed. 

“Um, Kling might come back any minute,” Christen said after seeing the empty bed next to hers.

“I, uh, asked her to switch roommates for the night,” Tobin said nervously. 

“So you just assumed I was going to say yes?” 

“No,” Tobin said completely flustered. “I didn’t, I just thought, I,” she stuttered out.

“Relax,” Christen said stepping closer to Tobin. “I was kidding,” she said as she put her hands on Tobin’s waist. Tobin took a long breath in and let out a deep exhale before looking up into Christen’s eyes.

Christen leaned forward while pulling Tobin closer into her and took the midfielder’s lips between her own. Despite the intense shower they had together, this was the first time they’d kissed in years. And they were both super drunk that night, so this was technically like their first kiss. Tobin immediately responded and Christen noted how good she was at kissing. She wasn’t too shocked because Tobin had good lips. She tasted like chapstick and toothpaste. Christen felt Tobin’s hand come up to her neck and pull Christen’s face even closer into hers not wanting to break the kiss. Tobin’s other hand slipped under Christen’s shirt and the new contact made Christen’s stomach tighten. 

Tobin’s hand traveled upward on Christen’s body and Christen got the hint and discarded her t-shirt. Their bare bodies touched and it felt amazing. Tobin’s skin was warm and smooth and smelled like Old Spice. Christen finally led them over to the bed, pushing Tobin down on her back. As Tobin scooted further up the bed, Christen peeled off her sports bra and climbed on top of Tobin. Tobin heart skipped a beat at the sight of the topless forward, but Christen didn’t give her much time to process it as her mouth was already back on hers. 

The kisses were getting hotter and hungrier and pretty soon, both girls’ hands were roaming over the other’s naked body. It was intense, but it wasn’t rushed. Every move was intentional. When Christen had taken off Tobin’s underwear she felt how wet they were already, so she knew Tobin didn’t need much more foreplay. 

They had sex before, but this time felt different. They were sober and they were kissing and feeling every inch of each other’s bodies. It felt good and intimate and that scared Christen. She began trailing kisses from Tobin’s lips to her neck to her breast to her stomach and finally to her inner thighs. When Christen finally tasted Tobin, she unconsciously let out a moan of pleasure causing Tobin to do the same. She tasted good under her tongue and Christen hoped Tobin wouldn’t come fast so she could savor how good she tasted. 

This time around, Christen didn’t need much direction from Tobin. She was much more experienced than she had been her junior year of college. She brought Tobin to the brink a few times before stopping so the sex would last longer. Not long after Christen slid two fingers through Tobin’s wetness and began applying pressure to her clit with her tongue, Tobin was tightening around Christen and spilling all over her hand. 

Christen let Tobin breathe for a few seconds after coming down from her orgasm. But as soon as Tobin’s breaths settled down to normal, Christen began using her tongue again. Tobin began to protest but the pleasure was too overwhelming and soon she was caught up in another orgasm. Christen really wanted to keep going, but finally decided not to tire Tobin out too much before the gold medal match tomorrow. She pressed two kisses into Tobin’s thigh before coming up to lay next her.

Christen kissed Tobin’s cheek and she felt Tobin’s hands start to grab at her body.

“No,” Christen said putting her hands on top of Tobin’s that were wandering further down on her body. “You have a game tomorrow. I don’t want you to overwork yourself.” 

“I want to,” Tobin said starting to kiss Christen’s neck. Christen closed her eyes starting to melt against Tobin’s lips.

“I know,” Christen breathed out trying not to focus too much on how great Tobin’s mouth was. “Make it up to me another time.” Tobin nodded into Christen’s shoulder. Tobin shifted and began to sit up in the bed going to move over to the other bed.

“Stay,” Christen called out grabbing onto Tobin’s forearm. Tobin heart skipped a beat and she fell back onto the bed, entangling her body with Christen’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!!! 
> 
> also I might start a new fic I'm still unsure because I have this one and also trying to keep up with if I lay here lol. I posted the first chapter of my new one on my tumblr balr33.tumblr.com so if you want to read it check it out and let me know what you think!!


	7. Brace Yourselves, A Storm Is Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> snow storm is about to hit so work is going to be cancelled and i can finish a chapter of if i lay here. but if you're trapped like I'm about to be, enjoy this chapter!!

The world didn't end in 2012 like the Mayans predicted, and ‘post-apocalyptic’ 2013 already felt different. Christen had signed with a new club in Sweden to play with some of the greatest players in world. Pia had left the US coaching staff and Tom Sermani was taking over. The new cycle of women’s soccer was starting. And in late January, Christen was called in for the February friendlies. 

The flight back to Jacksonville felt a lot more like the one she took to her first camp. However, this time, she knew that the team was ready to bring in some fresh blood. She didn’t sleep at all on the plane and couldn’t focus on the movies she kept picking out to watch. She ended up just texting Vero and her friends the whole time to waste the time.

Camp was a buzz with excitement of a new league starting up again in the states. Everyone had found out their allocations a month earlier and they were getting excited to start playing in a domestic league again. Christen hadn’t been allocated, mostly because she hadn’t even gotten a cap with the national team yet. But she wasn’t even sure she would go if she did. She was enjoying her time abroad and she felt like not only was her game was benefiting but also her personal happiness. 

And the Christen Press that was flourishing in Sweden began to shine in camp. She was excelling and people were noticing. Her shots were on point and she was extremely dynamic and dangerous in front of goal. It didn’t take long for her teammates and coaches to notice the new hunger in Press.

The practice before their first match, Tom announced the starting line up. And not only was Christen getting her first cap, she was going to be starting. She tried to play it as cool as possible, but she was exploding with excitement on the inside. She had finally accomplished her dream and was getting the opportunity to wear the US Soccer crest. A million thoughts streamed through her head as her mind tried to process all of them. She was happy, over the moon ecstatic, but she was nervous. She got nervous before every game she played, but never anything like this.

She could barely stomach anything at dinner, even though she knew she had to carbo load before the game. She tried to pay attention to the conversations around her, but her mind kept wandering away from the table. After dinner she went outside to call her parents and let them know the good news. They ended up talking a lot of the nerves out of Christen but the lingering gut-dropping feeling was still there. 

“Hey,” a voice called out breaking Christen out of her own head as she walked through the lobby. Christen frantically scanned around before finding a pair of chocolate brown eyes staring at her from one of the plush seats in the middle of the lobby.

“Hey,” Christen said softly offering a weak smile.

“You nervous?” Tobin said casually as she was sprawled out in the chair in front of Christen.

“What do I have to be nervous about?” Christen said sarcastically. Tobin let out a small laugh.

“Pool?” she asked raising her eyebrows.

“Sure,” Christen said willing to do anything to keep her from thinking about the game. They walked down one of the hallways toward the pool and Christen had to bat her eyes and flirt a little with a hotel worker to get them to open the pool after hours. Tobin was impressed at the way Christen was able to get people to do things for her before realizing how ironic that was. They sat on the pool’s edge only putting the bottom half of their legs in. The room was dark, only illuminated by the faint pool lights and rippling water. They silently sat looking at their feet through the water swinging their legs gently. The silence was interrupted by a little laugh Tobin let out.

“What’s so funny?” Christen asked turning to Tobin who had a big smile on her face.

“It’s just,” Tobin said shaking her head. “I’ve never seen you like this. You’ve just never seemed the type to be nervous about something like this.”

“So you think that’s funny?” Christen asked slowly trying to figure out Tobin.

“No, no,” Tobin furrowed her eyebrows. “It’s just refreshing to know you’re human.”

“As oppose to the black hole I am normally?”

“No, no,” Tobin said shaking her head. “I’m sorry,” she blushed. “I’m not good with words sometimes,” she fidgeted with her fingers. “I just meant you’ve always seemed so perfect.”

“And now I’m flawed?” Christen broke a smile loving how flustered Tobin was getting.

“I actually think it makes you more perfect,” Tobin said scrunching her forehead. Christen’s chest tightened and for a second she felt like she couldn’t catch her breath. 

“What happened in your first cap?”

“I nutmegged a girl on my first touch,” Tobin smiled brightly as she remembered her first time in a US Soccer jersey. 

“Not even a little shocked,” Christen laughed.

“Why are you so nervous, Chris?” Tobin asked using that nickname for the first time. “You know you’re good.”

“Well you know, I could completely choke. I could miss every shot I take. I could turn the ball over 1000 times. I could get beat on defense. Not connect any passes. Have it be the last time I get to play for the national team. You know, the usual stuff.” 

“So I take it you’ve thought about this a few times?” Tobin joked.

“It’s, uh, crossed my mind I guess,” Christen wittily responded.

“I could give you some pointers on how to clear your mind,” Tobin gave her a devilish smirk and Christen just smiled back at her.

“Oh yeah? Cause I’m pretty sure I was the one who taught you,” Christen challenged back. Tobin wanted to respond something witty but the way Christen was biting her bottom lip was too overwhelming for Tobin to have a coherent thought. Christen shifted her body more toward Tobin and had her arm extended to the ground right behind Tobin’s back. She began to lean closer and Tobin closed her eyes and waited for their lips to make contact. 

But just as Tobin was preparing for Christen’s lips, she felt like she was falling. And before she could fully process what was happening, she was under water. The water was cold but refreshing and she pushed herself up with her toes from the bottom of the pool. She stood up in the four foot deep water and the first thing she heard was laughing. Christen sat on the edge of the pool in a fit of laughter.

“Did this take the nerves away?” Tobin said gesturing to her soaked self.

“Yeah, kinda,” Christen said in between her fits of laughter. Tobin rolled her eyes and tried to quickly make her way over to Christen’s legs to pull her into the pool. But the water slowed Tobin down and Christen was able to spring up from the edge and take a few steps back.

“Come on in. What are you scared of, Press? The water feels great,” Tobin said using her whole forearm to splash a wave of pool water at Christen. Christen laughed as Tobin’s waved soaked the bottom half of her body and Tobin began splashing more and more water at her.

“Okay, okay!” Christen said putting her hands up in defeat making Tobin stop her splashing fit. Christen grabbed the bottom of her shirt and peeled it off her body and placed it on the ground. She then slid off her shorts and stepped out of them. Tobin hoped the stomach-churning feeling she got at the sight of Christen’s exposed body didn’t show. But judging by the confident smirk Christen had on her face, it definitely showed. 

Christen took two step before jumping into the pool right in front of where Tobin was. She emerged from the water and Tobin couldn’t believe this girl could’ve been any hotter.

“You’re right,” Christen said gravitating closer to Tobin. “The water does feel great,” she said as she put her hands on Tobin’s hips. “Probably don’t need this anymore. It’s already soaked,” Christen said tugging Tobin’s damp shirt up a little before Tobin finished removing it. They swan around for a while in the pool, both enjoying the familiar feeling that filled their childhoods. 

“You like the water?” Tobin asked as Christen floated aimlessly in the pool.

“Yeah,” Christen sighed out contently. “It reminds me of home at the beach. But it makes my hair all curly so that’s not fun.”

“I like your hair curly,” Tobin said catching Christen off guard who stood up to face Tobin. She silently examined Tobin’s face studying even inch of it.

“Race me,” Christen said. “To the end of the pool,” she said starting toward the ledge on the other end before giving Tobin a chance to process. The midfielder took off splashing after the forward using all of her muscles to beat her. Christen just narrowly beat Tobin only because of her head start.

“I win. What’s my prize?” Christen said propping her arms onto the side of the pool. Tobin dipped her chin under the water taking some of it in her mouth before spitting it at Christen.

“You cheated,” Tobin said. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Christen smiled before realizing the irony of Tobin’s words and her stomach dropped a little. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Tobin raised her eyebrows up.

“I don’t know,” Christen said, even though she did know, it was just too many things to count and too many she didn’t want to say out loud. The mood in the room shifted completely and Tobin just nodded. “We probably should go up soon,” Christen said. Tobin silently nodded and neither of them moved.

“Christen,” Tobin said softly putting a hand on Christen’s waist and pulled the forward close to her. Tobin’s lips quickly found Christen’s and despite every voice in Christen’s head telling her to stop, she wrapped her arms around Tobin’s neck. Tobin held onto the ledge as Christen began entangling the rest of her body around Tobin’s. 

Kissing Tobin was getting easier. It still felt the kind of electric of doing something new, but it was becoming more second nature. It was like riding a bike or putting on your favorite sweatshirt. Neither of their hands wandered too much, instead just focusing on pulling the other’s body even closer. After a few minutes of their lips breaking apart and coming back together, Christen begrudgingly pulled her face away from Tobin’s. 

“We’re going to miss curfew,” she whispered sadly into Tobin’s lips.

“Five more minutes,” Tobin whined looking directly at Christen’s lips. She didn’t even wait for Christen to respond before she was back to kissing her. After about ten minutes longer than the agreed upon five minutes, Christen pulled away again.

“We should get going,” Christen whispered even though the last thing she wanted was to go to bed alone, specifically without Tobin. Tobin nodded and loosened her grip on Christen’s waist so the girl could pull herself out of the pool. Christen felt bad about pushing Tobin in, so she offered to trade Tobin’s wet shorts with her dry ones. The rode up the elevator in their half wet outfits to their rooms.

“You’re going to do great,” Tobin said right before Christen pulled down the handle of her hotel room door. Christen gave Tobin a small smile.

“Thank you,” she said before slipping into her room.

 

Despite all the efforts to calm Christen, the next day she woke up a wreck. She couldn’t believe she was achieving her dream in just a few hours. She silently took it all in all while trying not to throw up. But once the opening whistle blew, all the nerves were gone and all she wanted to do was play. Thirteen minutes later, she did what she was great at--she buried the ball in the back of the net. It was the greatest feeling in the world and Christen felt like she was flying. She had a huge smile on her face and her teammates immediately swarmed her with hugs. She finally came up for air from all of it and she was face to face with a pair of warm brown eyes and an infectious grin. Tobin pulled Christen into her arms and squeezed the forward.

“Well, at least you didn’t choke,” Tobin whispered in her ear, giving her a wink and running back to reset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i take a lot of time coming up with my chapter titles believe it or not. i feel like they're under appreciated.
> 
> follow me on tumblr balr33.tumblr.com (i follow back!)
> 
> thanks for reading as always xxx


	8. Don't Forget to Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes yes yes I know I need to update If I Lay Here i'm working on it!!
> 
> on a completely unrelated note, Jessie Fleming is bae

2012 was a learning curve for Christen, both in terms of soccer and personally as well. And when she got done with that, boy did she hit the ground running. After getting a pair of caps for the US National Team, Christen began her breakout year in style. She was getting called into national team duty and making a name for herself on the big stage. And while she wasn’t repping the US crest, she was in Sweden dominating the league. She not only led the league in goals, she was crushing the rest of the competition by a mile.

In August, with a break from national team friendlies, Christen led Tyreso to the UEFA Women’s Champions League tournament. In the first round of the tournament, Tyreso was largely the underdog to their opponent, Paris Saint-Germain. A lot of her teammates were nervous, and two years ago Christen probably would have been shaking too. But she was on a high and she wasn’t only confident in herself, but her team as well. 

The team headed out to warm ups and Christen was the last one out of the locker room after sending a text to her dad. She exited the locker room into the tunnel. A few feet in front of her was an easily recognizable silhouette of broad shoulders, strong calves, and no cleats. Christen smiled and quietly and quickly took three big strides before reaching out and grabbing a handful of her warm up shirt. Christen gave a small tug as the woman flew backward and let out a small shocked quip. 

Tobin was eyes were wide in fright before she finally was able to register Christen. Tobin’s whole body visibly relaxed as she took in the woman in front of her.

“Hi, stranger,” Tobin said as a smile broke out on her face. “Long time, no see.” They’ve seen a lot of each other over the past year, but they were currently in a lull for national team stuff so it hasn’t been as often recently. Tobin missed Christen’s smirk and mostly everything about her lips.

“Ready to lose?” Chrsiten licked her lips giving Tobin a light shove.

“I think my track record against you is pretty good,” Tobin smirked. “Remember?” She challenged raising her eyebrows. Christen rolled her eyes at how Tobin never her let her forget about that national championship loss in 2009. 

“I’m not the same person I was back then,” Christen said.

“I am,” Tobin fired back.

“Wanna make a bet on it if you’re so confident?” Christen asked taking a step closer to Tobin causing Tobin to take a step back. Her back hit up against the wall as Christen took another step into her leaving her sandwiched. Tobin gulped as she tried to process a response. She was good at witty banter with Christen as long as there was distance between them. Whenever Christen got close like this, Tobin wasn’t ever able to piece together a coherent thought.

“Uhm, okay,” Tobin stuttered out trying to look into Christen’s eyes instead of her lips. Christen bit her lip and smiled, thriving off Tobin’s nervousness.

“So how bout, when I win,” Christen trailed off tapping her chin with her index finger. “You owe me dinner. And if,” she said emphasizing the ‘if’. “You win, I’ll buy you dinner. Deal?” She said raising her eyebrows.

“Deal,” Tobin smiled and nodded. “But Chris, if you wanted to buy me dinner all you had to do was say so.” Christen let out a little laugh as Tobin was extremely impressed with her comeback. Christen leaned her face closer to Tobin’s making Tobin’s heart race uncontrollably as she came within inches of her. Christen brought her lips up to Tobin’s ear and Tobin prayed that the other woman couldn’t hear the thumping in her chest or her lack of breathing.

“Just remember,” Christen said her lips brushing Tobin’s skin. “Keep your eye on the ball, not my ass.” Tobin squeezed her eyes shut and gulped hard. Christen pulled away and Tobin opened her eyes to a very satisfied forward. 

“Good luck, Toby,” Christen said winking and turning to walk out of the tunnel. Tobin nodded to herself and let out a deep exhale before turning and watching Christen’s ass the whole time she walked out to the field after her.

 

The game ended up being one of the toughest played in the first round. The two teams were close to evenly matched and it was a hard fought game. Christen was the first to get on the score sheet with a dagger of a goal in the early minutes of the game. PSG pulled even, but in the 66th minute, Christen scored the eventual game winner. The Tyreso girls couldn’t have been more excited. Christen celebrated with her teams as the adrenaline rush from the win kicked it. 

After the on the field celebration subsided, Christen saw Tobin folded up on the ground with her head hanging down between her legs. She hadn’t moved from the final whistle. Christen made her way across the pitch to where Tobin was sitting and Tobin didn’t even look up when she approached. Christen crouched down beside Tobin and tenderly put a hand on her back.

“Head up,” Christen said soothingly. “You were great today.” Tobin turned her head and it wrenched Christen’s insides to see the tears falling down Tobin’s cheeks.

“I lost,” Tobin said barely moving her lips. Christen pursed her lips and nodded.

“Someone once told me, winning isn’t everything,” Christen said making the corners of Tobin’s mouth upturn ever so slightly.

“Well, she sounds super cliche,” Tobin said letting out a halfhearted laugh.

“Oh she is,” Christen nodded. “But she’s also very wise.”

“And a good soccer player?” Christen let out a little chuckle and nodded her head.

“A great soccer player.”

“And cute?” Tobin asked knowing she was pushing her luck a little.

“Very,” Christen said back with a soft smile on her face and Tobin smiled through the tears. Christen stood up and offered her hand to help Tobin stand up. Tobin took a step forward and brought Christen into her arms. It was unexpected but Christen pulled the midfielder’s body into her as Tobin rested her chin on Christen’s shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Tobin whispered before letting go. They walked over side by side toward where the rest of PSG was sitting down and doing some cool down stretching. Tobin wiped a few tears from her cheeks as they got closer to the group.

“I’ll see you tonight, then?” Tobin said in a quiet voice as Christen started to drift off in the direction of the locker rooms.

“We don’t have to tonight,” Christen shook her head. “If you want to be with your teammates,” Christen nodded toward where a Costa Rican midfielder sat with her eyes glued on the two of them.

“No, I want to be with you,” Tobin said before blushing. “Tonight,” she quickly added before shaking her head. “I mean I want to take my mind off the game for a little,” she said squeezing her eyes shut. “I mean I don’t think being around my teammates is,” she stopped mid-ramble and took a breath. “I’ll see you tonight,” she said turning to Christen who had a huge smile on her face.

“Meet me at the hotel at 8?” Christen asked. Tobin nodded and headed to where her team was sitting and Christen went to the locker room to continue celebrating the win.

 

Tobin took them to a cute little restaurant in the city. It was small, dimly lit, and very intimate. They spent the dinner laughing and eating and drinking. Both Tobin and Christen had a few glasses of wine and and were feeling a soft tingling numbness starting to take over their cheeks. They didn’t talk about soccer once. Tobin told her all about her experiences in Paris and all the cool places she’d been. Christen talked about how much she had found herself in Sweden. The conversation was easy and comfortable and Christen was surprised with how little she had actually known Tobin before. They talked before this and certainly interacted in other ways, but it was never like this and both of them were savoring it. 

The check came and Christen gave Tobin a little smirk as Tobin pulled out her card to pay for the meal. Christen checked her phone for the first time since they sat down and found her screen littered with texts and missed calls from her teammates. Most were from Kling begging her to join the team at a bar to celebrate.

“What are you smiling at?” Tobin asked.

“Kling,” Christen said laughing. “Apparently our teams are going out tonight. Would you be up for that?”

“Sure,” Tobin nodded not wanting her time with Christen to ever come to an end.

“Okay,” Christen smiled. “I’ll have Kling send over the location.” 

Tobin finished paying for the check and they headed out into the warm Paris night to grab a cab. The bar was on the other side of the city closer to where most of the PSG girls lived. Tobin pointed out some buildings and parks as the rode along telling Christen little tid bits or stories about them. Christen smiled at how happy Tobin was to tell her things. She was going on about the architecture of the ‘coolest’ building by Tobin’s standards in the city when Christen leaned over and kissed Tobin on the cheek. Tobin smiled as Christen giddly fell back into her seat. Tobin leaned over and brought her lips to Christen’s. They were both buzzed and it made the kiss even more tingly. Christen grabbed the back of Tobin’s head and pulled the woman’s face closer into hers. They broke apart a few minutes later when the cab came to an abrupt stop.

“We’re here,” the driver said in a thick accent as they both looked out the window at the bar to their left. 

Christen pulled out a bill that was probably too much for their fare and an appropriate tip and climbed over Tobin to get out. She briefly sat in Tobin’s lap as she finally pushed open the door. Tobin followed Christen like a puppy to the front door of the bar. There was a line to get in and Tobin could see the place was already pretty packed. She began to wander to the back of the line when Christen pulled her to the door. Somehow, Christen not only managed to make the leather jacket wearing stone faced bouncer smile, he let both of them in without a problem. They made their way further into the bar and found a few of their teammates sitting at a table. 

 

“Hey, I’m going to get a drink. What do you want?” Christen asked Tobin. 

“Uhm, just a beer is good with me. I’ll come with you,” Tobin said getting up from where she sat next to Kling.

“No, no,” Christen waved her off. “Stay here. I’ll be back.” Christen pushed her way through the packed place until she finally got close to the bar. She was way in the back but was eventually able to use her good looks to get her up to the front. The bartender seemed to gravitate right to Christen would ordered a glass of wine for her and a beer for Tobin. When he came back with the drinks and Christen pulled out money to pay.

“They’re paid for, sweetheart,” he said nodding to a good looking man in tight grey v-neck. Christen smiled politely at him and gave him a little wave and he winked back. Christen made her journey back to where her friends were a saw their group grew. She also saw a tan skinned woman with her arm draped across Tobin’s back pulling her closer into her. 

“Pressy!” Kling yelled as the group’s attention shifted toward her. Christen quickly noted Kling but was mainly focused on the couple in front of her. Shirley glared at her judgingly and Tobin refused to make eye contact. Christen quickly swallowed her pride and approached the table.

“Here ya go, Tobs,” Christen said trying to sound casual as she slid the beer to Tobin who just nodded looking down at the table. 

“I don’t think we’ve ever officially met,” the woman next to Tobin said with a little bite to her voice. It was technically true. They have never officially met but they both knew about the other to some extent at least. “I’m Tobin’s girlfriend, Shirley,” she said offering the hand that wasn’t on Tobin. She smiled at Christen but her eyes were glaring.

Christen felt her stomach clench but returned the smile trying to make hers seem a little less forced. She slid her hand into Shirley’s and gave a little polite squeeze before letting go.

“Christen,” she said as Shirley nodded.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Shirley said. “This one has told me a lot about you,” she said pulling Tobin into her and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“I bet,” Christen said trying not to let her voice crack. She slid into a seat on the other side of the table and did her best to look anywhere but Tobin and Shirley. She could see out of the corner of her eye Shirley whispering into Tobin’s ear and giving her soft kisses on her jaw. After finishing her drink, Christen didn’t think she was going to be able to handle it anymore.

“I think I’m going to head back,” she said standing up from the table.

“No, Chris,” Kling and a few other women groaned. 

“Sorry, guys,” she smiled weakly at the table. “Have fun. I’ll see you in the morning.” She didn’t even look toward Tobin once before rushing out of the bar as fast as she could. She finally emerged and the summer night felt so liberating on her skin. She got in the first taxi that pulled up and fell back into the seat as the car started toward the hotel. She stared at the window at the lights of the city of love and cried at how out of place she felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my ex (aka my first love) and I had been talking and i thought we were getting back together and she just posted a pic with the girl she dated before me. so im probably going to cry myself to sleep tonight. soo that's gonna be fun. 
> 
> if you want to console me or yell at me to update if i lay here feel free to message me on tumblr balr33.tumblr.com
> 
> hope you enjoyed! will be updating both stories this weekend! as always thanks for reading. much love xoxo


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